It’s better to feel pain.

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This post is for today’s Daily Prompt. And I find it absolutely necessary to respond to today’s post because it is deemed appropriate to the waves of emotions that I have been feeling lately. You see, no matter what I look up, no matter where  I search and no matter how much I deny, the problem that needs a good beating or two are my emotions.

Yep, you read that right. They are too many to be contained or even used in a sentence.  I bet Taylor Swift that her Happy-free-confused-and lonely at the same time is not even close to what I try to live up everyday.

I do not know what is wrong with me or with my emotions but most of the time they can’t take a hint that they need a rest or a good vacation with sunny long islands. I mean come on, give it a rest, you’re not always the star of the party. I hate how they control a bigger part of me and own me and eventually eat me up. I hate how they make me cry and be at their mercy to the littlest of things.

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I want to face you and punch you so hard in the gut that you’ll be forced to take hint or two that maybe for a second I don’t need you taking control of my life. For once, I need that one peaceful moment where I don’t have to feel happy nor feel so down, that I won’t feel too much joy nor grief, that moment where I won’t feel pain to the lightest of touch. 

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Stop being so arrogant for once. 

But come on, who are we kidding here. In my own state of being I know that I terribly need you. You make me feel safe , guarded and alive. You make everything so tangible and real. I guess we are in a love-hate relationship then? For the times that you make me feel ridiculously happy to those moments where all you want to do is kill the insides of me — I still have to say thank you. But sometimes, I really really hate you.

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But?

I think, I just think that it’s better to feel pain than nothing at all. 

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